


Best Friends?

by KarkatVantabulous



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Implied/Referenced Suicide, Loneliness, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Retcon Timeline, Sober Gamzee Makara, Suicide Attempt, broken moiraillegiance, murder gamzee makara, post-retcon timeline, pre-retcon timeline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-14
Updated: 2015-11-14
Packaged: 2018-05-01 10:54:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5203160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KarkatVantabulous/pseuds/KarkatVantabulous





	1. Gamzee Makara

Gamzee Makara. Purple Blood. High blood. One of the last few subjugglators. Descendent of The Grand Highblood. These are all just basic facts about the miracle loving troll that everyone knows. But there's more to Gamzee than what meets the eye. Karkat Vantas for one, knows as much.

Karkat Vantas and Gamzee Makara have been best friends since....well....forever really. Or what felt like forever. His earliest memory in life, involved Karkat. He couldn't remember a day that didn't involve his shouty friend that he loved so dearly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gamzee remembered when he was two sweeps old, he had finally learned how to properly spell and immediately jumped onto his husktop. He clicked a chatting application and checked who was online. Only one troll. his screen name was carcinoGeneticist, the text was grey, which was pretty odd. Didn't all trolls type in their blood color? Gamzee shrugged and clicked on the troll.

\- - terminallyCapricious[TC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist[CG] \- -

TC: hey there my grey texted brother or sister. Name's Gamzee Makara, yours? :o) 

CG: Hello there...my name is Karkat Vantas. And i'd be referred to as a brother...

Gamzee liked this troll. Though he still wondered why he typed in grey instead of his respective blood color, so he decided to question him about it.

TC: that's a most miraculous name an all karbro, but I gotta all up an wonder why ya type in such a dull color. Ain't we usually supposed to type in our pretty hues? 

CG: The color of my blood is no concern to anyone Gam.

Gamzee pursed his lips but shrugged and ceased questioning him about it. Over the course of the next sweep, the two became close friends. The talked each and everyday, learning everything about each other.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gamzee remembered when he was three sweeps old. He had just started to ingest sopor slime to fill the hole that his lusus had made. Karkat told him that eating that would never be good for him, but he did it anyway. The slime did next to nothing to him, the only things that changed so far were his typing style and his relaxation had increased.

Things changed for Karkat too.

Gamzee remembered the day that Karkat's life had changed so clearly. He remembered Karkat messaging him, he remembered deciding to take the long and risky road to Karkat's hive. Gamzee remembered not caring if he happened to run into a drone, he just wanted to help his friend. He remembered hoping his lusus would help him go that long way, but sadly it didn't happen, he grabbed a club and made his way to Karkat's hive.

Gamzee remembered finally finding Karkat's hive after hours of searching. He remembered being tired and hungry as he barely had the energy to knock on the door.

Unfortunately, Karkat's lusus had answered the door. The next thing Gamzee knew, a giant crab was screeching at him.

_"I-I'm here for Karkat......."_ Gamzee asked his friend's lusus. The crab screeched, sounding slightly angry...or what Gamzee thought was angry. They young toll was honestly scared, he didn't know what else to say, and the fact that the crab lusus was clacking his claws together.

_"Gamzee...?"_ A quiet voice said behind one of the crab's legs. Gamzee looked for a moment before spotting a partial part of his friend's body. Without hesitation, Gamzee dove between the legs of Karkat's lusus and tackled his friend with a great big bear hug. Crabdad, of course, instantly freaked out and yanked Gamzee off of Karkat, but Gamzee merely slid out of his shirt, therefore out of Crabdad's hold, and hugged Karkat once more.

_"Hush up now brother, ain't got no time for sadness all up in this hive, shit ain't motherfuckin wicked, get what i'm saying?"_ Gamzee asked as he bumped their horns together, a palemate's sign of affection. Karkat was in complete and utter shock, all he could do was manage a small nod of the head as he hugged the highblood tightly.

After all of that was done, and Gamzee was sure that Karkat was fine, the young highblood made the long and dangerous journey back to his own hive.

Goatdad still hadn't come back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gamzee remembered more recent things. He remembered constantly pale flirting with Karkat, and Karkat pale flirting with him. He remembered asking Karkat to be his pale mate, but he never accepted, but that never stopped the two from having feelings jams and doing normal palemate activities.

Gamzee remembered a time during the game, they were on Karkat's land, The Land Of Pulse And Haze, he remembered Karkat asking Gamzee if they were best friends, Gamzee instantly confirming it. He remembered Karkat being nervous, he was messing with the hem of his shirt and rubbing the sweat off the palms of his hands.

_"Gamzee, what I'm about to tell you is a fucking secret, okay? I'm only telling you because you're my best friend. You **can't** tell anyone else, got it?"_ Gamzee had nodded of course, eager to see what his best friend was about to show him. Karkat took a deep breath and lifted his shirt, showing off his bandaged side. Gamzee tilted his head as Karkat began to slowly peel off the bandages. The second the bandage came off, a slow stream of candy red blood dripped down from the wound.

Gamzee's eyes widened, he's never seen such a bright... _beautiful...miraculous_ color like that before. His usual dopey smiled widened as he stared in awe. Karkat was slightly flattered at Gamzee's happy staring, he hoped this would've been the reaction he got from his best friend.

_"Shit brother, I all up an knew you were made a miracles. Now it just proves cause a the miracles flowing through those righteous veins a yours."_ Gamzee exclaimed, a grin on his face. Karkat's mouth twitched upward into a small smile, then it went back to it's usual frown. The red-blooded troll rolled his eyes and the two continued their little adventure about LOPAH.

From then on, the two seemed closer somehow. They seemed more like moirails than ever. Gamzee did everything in his power to protect Karkat's miracle blood from being revealed to the others. Even when they found out that Karkat was a "mutant", Gamzee protected Karkat. He didn't let any kind of monster harm his unofficial palemate.

When the Black King swatted Karkat away, Gamzee snapped and decapitated the King. A rain of blood showered everyone as they stood in shock at Gamzee's sudden violent, and effective, outburst. Gamzee merely helped Karkat back up onto his feet and plopped down on a lilypad to relax.

When monsters escaped their cages from the bottom of the meteor and threatened the safety of those on the meteor. Gamzee leapt to Karkat's side and destroyed any monster that came near him. Gamzee protected Karkat because to Gamzee, Karkat was the only miracle in all of paradox space.

But the slime supply quickly depleted, and Gamzee couldn't keep the loud, malicious voices in his broken think pan in check anymore. Yet he still fought them, he stayed in control of his actions as best as he could. For Karkat.

Unfortunately, he succumbed. The voices took over and Gamzee fell down a deep hole of murderous rampages and uncontrollable anger.

Gamzee couldn't protect Karkat from himself.


	2. Gamzee Makara: part 2

Gamzee couldn't stop it. He couldn't move his body, all that he could do was watch in horror. It was like he was watching one of his horror films, except he was the killer.

The sopor slime supply had run out and the loud the loud, malicious voices Gamzee had to use the slime to quiet down were at large. Their terrible voices boomed and echoed in the capricorn's thinkpan, but he didn't let them take over. No, he fought them, pushed them off as best he could. He stayed in control until finally, he caved in and the voices took over.

Now, here he was. Just watching himself wreck havoc. He watched in horror as his body strangled Equius to death. He watched in horror as his body bashed Nepeta's head in. He watched in horror as he decapitated the heads of his dead friends.

Gamzee was absolutely disgusted with himself. He was on a rampage and he couldn't even stop himself. He tried to will the evil voice to stop, that he was hurting his friends. But nothing happened. Gamzee felt a burning deep down inside of him, the burning rage he had harboured over the sweeps.

He didn't think this would get any worse. And it didn't.

Gamzee was forced to watched as Karkat and their friends stood there, weapons ready and aiming towards Gamzee. Gamzee watched while he and Karkat lunged at each other, he wanted to close his eyes, he didn't want to see himself hurt his palest of loves. And he didn't. Instead of slashing at Gamzee, Karkat dropped his weapon and began to pap the raging clown. Karkat papped and shooshed him until his loud, angry honks subsided and they embraced each other, becoming official moirails.

 _'this could all up an work...'_ Gamzee thought to himself, at least he had Karkat to pacify his body's murderous rampages. At least he had Karkat.

Their moirallegiance, to Gamzee's surprise, hadn't lasted long. Gamzee was out of control. He watched in disgust as he made his way through a long term blackrom relationship with Terezi that was fairly abusive on his part. He was horrified when he started aiding the Dark Lord. He was disgusted when he witnessed himself drain the remaining blood from the bodies of his dead friends and pour it into bottles and sell them all to Jane. He was devastated when he watched himself ruin his life long friendship with Karkat.

Gamzee hated himself. He hated that he couldn't stop himself from doing all these shitty things. He hated the fact that he had just became a monster. But things couldn't get worse, right? He had done all of these things, he couldn't get any worse, right?

Wrong.

 _"WE AREN'T GOING TO BE HUGGING **THIS** OUT!!!"_ Karkat screeched at Gamzee who was holding a sobbing, bleeding, and beaten Terezi in a choke hold. Gamzee just laughed maniacally as Karkat and Kanaya ran towards him, weapons at the ready. Gamzee threw Terezi to the ground and grabbed her cane sword. The next second, he had stopped and stabbed Karkat twice in the chest. Karkat looked up at him weakly, tears in his eyes. _"G-Gamzee..."_ Karkat whispered just as Gamzee threw his lifelong friend into a giant pool of lava.

 _"WAIT!"_ Just like that, Gamzee had control over his body once again. He ran took a step to the edge, his eyes wide as he watched Karkat fly downwards into the lava, his arm stretched out to the clown. Gamzee reached out for Karkat, but his pale love was already swallowed by the lava.

He couldn't believe it, he had just killed his lifelong friend. He had thrown him into lava and now he's gone. Gamzee heard a screech of Karkat's name and slowly looked over. It was Kanaya. She had angry tears welling up at the corners of her eyes as she ran towards him, chainsaw at the ready. Gamzee couldn't move, a part of him didn't want to move. He just wanted death, sweet blissful death. Kanaya ran up to him and in a second she had split the raging clown in two.

The purple blood expected death, but sadly the universe didn't deliver. His halves dropped to the ground and he watched the remain of the fight. He watched Kanaya get disintegrated, Rose get stabbed to death. He saw as the Empress choked Vriska's dancestor. He watched it all, though his think pan (or should we say thinkpans) was on Karkat.

The battle came and went, and Gamzee was left there. He closed his eyes, hoping he would pass out and die. So he closed his eyes, and hoped for the best. But he didn't die, but he did pass out.

When Gamzee awoke he was a whole troll again. He was confused of course. He tried to rub his eyes but he couldn't move his arm. Oh no, not this again. The capricorn troll began walking down the hall of the...meteor? Okay, now Gamzee was really confused. How did he get return to the meteor? Why wasn't he split in two? All he could do was watch.

He watched again as he killed Nepeta and Equius. He watched as he decapitated the bodies of his dead friends. He watched as Karkat, who was alive again, pap his rage away. But this time, instead of Karkat making their moirallegiance official, Vriska swooped in. She put Gamzee under her mind control and shoved him in a kitchen appliance.

Gamzee was surprisingly okay with this, being shoved into fridge filled with the bodies of his dead friends with a horn in his mouth, at least he wasn't able to do any harm to his friends like this. Terezi was safe. The others were safe. Karkat was safe.

The highblood stayed in the fridge, alone, for a perigee or two. In that time alone he had managed to quiet down the evil voices booming through his thinkpan without the help of sopor slime. Then, after about two perigees alone, Gamzee heard footsteps coming from outside the fridge. Gamzee's blood pumper raced. Who could it have of been?

 _"Gamzee?"_ It was Karkat's voice out there. The Purple blood honked the horn in his mouth happily. He heard the footsteps coming closer to the fridge until they finally stopped. Gamzee smiled as best he could with a horn in his mouth. He missed Karkat, god he missed Karkat. He missed talking to him, hugging him, trying to convince him to rest into the horn pile. "Can I talk to you..?" Karkat asked, his voice small. Gamzee gave out another honk and Karkat began talking,

He talked about everything. He talked about what's happened in past two perigees, his complicated relationship with Dave, how he felt about having his best friend ripped out of his hands and shoved into a refrigerator. He talked about all of this, and Gamzee listened. He gave Karkat the attention he deserved. He gave Karkat the attention he didn't give him in the other timeline. Karkat talked for a solid two hours until he finally bade his farewells and left.

But that wasn't the last of Karkat. The cancer troll returned every day at the same time. He talked for two hours straight then left. This went on over the course of the full sweep that they spent on the meteor, and Gamzee was greatful for this. He was glad that he could at least help Karkat like this, letting Karkat rant on and on until he couldn't rant anymore.

Then, the day came. Karkat walked down to Gamzee's fridge at the same time as always. He awkwardly shuffled about for a moment before he finally muttered out that the final battle was arriving, and he couldn't come back to talk to Gamzee every day. Gamzee understood, of course, but he was also sad. He was sad that he couldn't talk to Karkat. He was sad that he wouldn't be able to help the others during the battle. He was sad that he couldn't protect Karkat.

After their two hours together, Karkat sighed and leaned against the fridge door. Gamzee didn't want his friend to go, but he couldn't do anything. Instead he let out a stream of rapid fire honks, trying to keep Karkat there as long as he could. But sadly, it didn't work. Eventually, the mutant blooded troll bade his farewell and left.

Gamzee let out another honk as he heard Karkat's footsteps footsteps fade away. He didn't want him to get hurt during battle. He didn't want him to die. The capricorn troll prayed to the mirthful messiahs that some sort of miracle would play in favour of Karkat and keep him safe. When he was down, he closed his eyes and thought to himself:

_'bye best friend...good luck and come back safe...'_


	3. Chapter 3

Karkat Vantas. Candy red blood. Lowblood. Mutant. The only mutant blooded troll around. Descendent of the famous Signless/Sufferer. Basic facts about the mutant troll with an anger and yelling problem and with a passion for romance and a love of romantic comedies. But Karkat wasn't always the short and angry troll with a habit of yelling out every single word he said and an insecurity of his blood. No, there was more to him than that. And his best friend, Gamzee Makara, knew as much.

Karkat and Gamzee had been friends for practically their whole lives. The two became best friends in their early childhood and have been near inseparable ever since. Gamzee knew everything about Karkat, and Karkat knew everything about Gamzee.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Karkat remembered back when he was three sweeps old. Back then, Karkat was different. Much different. For starters, he didn't yell every word he said, infact he barely whispered every word he said. Back then, Karkat wasn't so talkative. He didn't put up the brave front he had now, he was actually a really shy troll. The anger and hatred he had inherited from his ancestor, The Signless, had not yet awaken.

Karkat spent his days reading romance novels, watching movies, and helping his lusus. He spoke to no one the first three sweeps of his life. He lived a quiet, peaceful life. Or, as peaceful as it is to be constantly running from drones or learning how to properly fight for his life.

Karkat always knew what he was meant to do, who he was meant to be. He knew his lusus was specially bred to be able to fight off Eridan's ancestor, Orphaner Dualscar, which made fighting drones a piece of cake. He knew his mutation was the only real cause as to why he was constantly in danger. He knew he could never have friends, and if he did, he'd have very few.

Karkat never expected much out of his life. He never expected to eventually become the leader to a team of his friends, fighting for his life in a game that destroyed their universe. He never expected to meet the teen version of his ancestor. He never expected to become best friends with a subjugglator.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Karkat remembered the first time he ever talked to Gamzee. He had heard of this new chatting website that some young, smart yellow blood had made up. He downloaded it and immediately created an account. Now, he just had to wait for someone to message him.

He waited for days on end, and nothing happened. Maybe it was the weird, grey textcolor he had? That was probably it. Grey was the default color for text, once the account was created the respective troll had put in their blood color for all to see. Of course Karkat wasn't going to do that. He was a mutant for god's sakes. If he put candy red as his text color, he would have been culled within the week.

Nearly a perigee after creating his trollian account, Karkat received a message. He quickly scampered up to his room and quickly checked who it was. He read the screen and just sat there for a moment.

\- - terminallyCapricious[TC] **began trolling** carcinoGeneticist[CG] - - 

TC: hey there my grey texted brother or sister. Name's Gamzee Makara, yours? :o)

Karkat sat there. The text...it was purple. Highblood purple. The same purple that had sentenced his ancestor to execution. The cancer troll didn't know what to do. Was this some kind of sick joke the universe was playing on him? Was the universe giving him a fair warning? Was it saying 'This is the troll who will kill you in the future, have fun conversing with him.'

Finally after a good ten minutes of just sitting there, pondering every possible outcome, Karkat quickly typed up a response. He was lucky crabdad wasn't home. If his over protective lusus had seen the deep purple text, he would've destroyed the poor mutant's husktop.

CG: Hello there...my name is Karkat Vantas. And i'd be referred to as a brother...

TC: that's a most miraculous name an all karbro, but I gotta all up an wonder why ya type in such a dull color. Ain't we usually supposed to type in our pretty hues?

Of course he would ask this. Karkat would've been surprised if he didn't ask. He sighed, thinking of a good and polite way to respond this. Of course he couldn't think of anything. So, what else was there to do but sound agitated by the question?

CG: The color of my blood is no concern to anyone Gam.

And that was the end of that. Gamzee never asked about his blood color again, and Karkat was completely content with that. Karkat was wary, of course, of Gamzee. He knew his ancestor's history and he knew what he was capable of, so he stayed safe. But staying safe didn't stop Karkat from developing strong, pale feelings for the final subjugglator. He never acted upon his pale urges though.

Not for a while at least.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Karkat remembered one day when he was three sweeps old. He had grown tired of everything. He was tired of constantly running from drones. Hiding his blood from his new group of friends. He was tired of the stupid caste system that automatically meant his death.

Karkat didn't know exactly what came over him. He didn't know what he was thinking, but he did it. Crabdad was out hunting. He was alone. The drones were doing their scheduled rounds. Everything was perfect. Perfect for doing something completely idiotic that is.

Karkat slowly walked down the steps of his hive. Was he really about to do this? He was only three sweeps old, he had his entire life ahead of him. Karkat reached the bottom of the steps and looked out the window. The night sky was clear, not a single cloud in the sky. He walked to his door and grabbed the cold knob and pushed the door open slowly.

It was cold out, but that didn't bother Karkat much. He was warm blooded and he had his oversized turtleneck on so the night's cold air didn't have much effect on the young troll. He took a few steps out onto his lawn ring, and waited.

A good ten minutes later, he heard it. The loud thumps coming from a distance. The drones knew he was there. Karkat closed his eyes, waiting for the giant metal giants to come and cull him.

Three sweeps old and Karkat Vantas was just about to off himself. The metal thumps got louder until they eventually stopped in front of him. _'Oh gog...'_ Karkat thought, squeezing his eyes shut even more. _'this is it...'_ He heard the whirring of the drone's arm raising. God, wouldn't this thing hurry along the culling?

Just as the drone was about to do its culling, Karkat heard a loud, shrill screech and a crushing noise. It sounded as if a can Alternia's latest and most popular soda had been crushed. After a few more screeches and a lot of metal tearing apart, Karkat slowly opened his eyes.

There stood his lusus, standing in it's fighting crouch, claws at the ready. Underneath its legs was a flattened piece of metal, what once was the drone that posed a threat to Karkat. For a long while the two just stood there, staring a each other. Karkat was the first to break the awkward silence.

_"Why didn't you just let me die?"_ He whispered out, red tears quickly falling from his eyes and dripped off his chin. His lusus just stared at the crying troll, after a moment or two the giant crab gently scooped up the troll in his gigantic claw and with the other he gently patted his hair. This wasn't much of an effort to calm him, the crab was more bred for protection rather than affection, but this effort was enough to calm the sobbing troll down. Karkat was carried back into his hive by his lusus and set down along with some dead animals. Once he was set down, Karkat scrambled upstairs, opened his Husktop and began typing.

\- - carcinoGeneticist[CG] **began trolling** terminallyCapricious[TC] - - 

CG: I HATE THIS. I HATE FUCKING EVERYTHING.

TC: wOaH ThErE BeSt fRiEnD, WhAt'S GoT Ya aLl hAtInG EvErYtHinG :o? 

God, Gamzee's new typing style made it somewhat difficult for Karkat to read what he was typing. That and the angry red tears forming in his eyes were blurring his vision.

Karkat just sat there. He wasn't sure what to type. _'I hate everything because every living thing in this gogforesaken planet wants to cull me because i'm a mutant.'_ That's not exactly something you tell the descendent of the troll that sentenced your ancestor to death. Karkat took a deep breath and just went with the normal thing to say in these kind of situations.

CG: I'M JUST HAVING A BAD NIGHT.

\- - terminallyCapricious[TC] **ceased trolling** carcinoGeneticist[CG] - - 

Karkat couldn't believe it, did Gamzee seriously just leave their conversation just like that? Anger bubbled up deep inside of the cancer troll. He was angry. Angry at Gamzee. Angry at the stupid caste system. Angry at crabdad, at the drones, the empress, his ancestor. He was angry at himself. Angry because he was a mutant. He hated this. He hated everyone. He hated himself. 

The thousand sweep anger and hatred that laid dormant inside of Karkat, the same anger and hatred that The Signless had once harboure, were now awake inside of Karkat. Karkat cried. He cried out angry tears, he kicked and screamed and threw the biggest tantrum in all the world. Crabdad didn't know what else to do, he knew that the anger and hatred would eventually awaken but he hadn't prepared himself for it. 

Karkat's tantrum came and went, he felt a lot calmer after it but he was still angry. He checked his trollian, seeing if Gamzee was online or not. When he saw that the purple blooded troll wasn't online, he felt the anger coming back up. Why had he left so suddenly? Was Gamzee just...tired of him already? 

Suddenly, a loud and angry screech came from crabdad who was downstairs. Another drone? Karkat slowly walked to the top of the stairs. He slowly made his way down the steps and stood behind his lusus, pondering who it could've been. 

_"I-I'm here for Karkat......."_ No way. Karkat stood there in awe for a second, a slight sliver of happiness began to shine through the burning rage and seething hatred he now had. 

_"Gamzee...?"_ Karkat asked, moving to try to peek between his lusus' legs to try to take a peek at the mysterious troll. The second he had, Karkat was tackled by his purple blooded best friend. A mass of hair and cool arms enveloped him, and Karkat was overjoyed. 

Just as soon as Gamzee had tackle-hugged the mutant troll, he was yanked off by an angry lusus. Gamzee merely slid out of his shirt, dropped to the ground, and hugged his friend once more. Karkat still didn't understand. Gamzee said he lived near the beach, and Karkat lived no where near the beach for certain reasons. Had Gamzee traveled all this way just for him? 

_"Hush up now brother, ain't got no time for sadness all up in this hive, shit ain't motherfuckin wicked, get what i'm saying?"_ Gamzee mumbled, bumping their horns together. Karkat knew this was a pale sign of affection, and he knew that Gamzee knew. He was in utter shock. He couldn't find any proper words, all he could manage was a small nod as he hugged his highblood best friend even tighter. 

Gamzee left a few hours later, once he knew that Karkat was okay once again. The two spent a while just sitting around, talking. Crabdad stayed close to Karkat of course, still wary of his juggalo looking troll. Once Gamzee left, Karkat felt like his old self. Not angry, not hateful, just...happy. Happy that he had landed himself such a wonderful best friend like Gamzee. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

_"Gamzee, what I'm about to tell you is a fucking secret, okay? I'm only telling you because you're my best friend. You **can't** tell anyone else, got it?"_ Karkat asked. He and Gamzee had grown closer throughout the sweeps. They were nearly moirails. They pale flirted like there was no tomorrow. 

Gamzee nodded, looking genuinely curious at what Karkat was about to tell him. Karkat was less than excited for this. Gamzee was about to be the first to know about his horrible mutation. Karkat slowly lifted up his shirt, revealing a bandage on his side. He peeled off the bandage and a slow stream of candy red blood oozed out of the wound. Karkat glanced over at his friend, who had an awestruck look on his face. 

_"Shit brother, I all up an knew you were made a miracles. Now it just proves cause a the miracles flowing through those righteous veins a yours."_ Gamzee exclaimed to Karkat's bewilderment. He was baffled that Gamzee was so...accepting of this. His mouth twitched upward into a smile, but then it melted back to his usual frown. Karkat re-bandaged his wound and the two set off to finish exploring the rest of LOPAH. 

From then on, Gamzee seemed a bit more protective. They seemed more like moirails. Gamzee didn't let any kind of monster come within ten feet of the cancer troll. He did everything he could to protect his friend. Even after the others found out he was a mutant, Gamzee protected Karkat. 

In the battle with the black king, Gamzee had snapped for a split second. He decapitated the Black King with one swing of his club, and then helped Karkat, who was laying on the floor, to his feet. Karkat was shocked of course, as was everyone else. They didn't expect Gamzee to be _that_ strong. Karkat was greatful for all of this, not many trolls can say that their unofficial moirail had just decapitated a monster about eighty times their size in order to protect them. 

Karkat was glad, glad he had an amazing best friend. Glad he had Gamzee. He was glad he didn't have to worry about the subjugglator in him unexpectedly popping up and killing him. 

Or did he? 


	4. Karkat Vantas: part 2

Karkat stepped away from the group of his friends. Away from Kanaya, Sollux and Terezi and towards Gamzee. Karkat couldn't believe it, his best friend, the troll that had protected him all this time, was now staring him down and covered in blood. The yellow around his eyes were now a bright, rageful red. Karkat was admittedly scared, he was. But at the same time...he wasn't. He knew what he had to do to calm down his rageful best friend, he was just scared it wouldn't work.

The cancer troll lunged at the capricorn, sickle in hand, and the capricorn lunged back. Karkat didn't slash at him though, he dropped his weapon and instead began papping the raging clown. The Knight of Blood shooshed and papped the Bard of Rage, easing his burning rage. The anger in the purple blooded troll subsided and the two hugged. Karkat was glad that this, this pale gesture, had calmed Gamzee down. This just sealed the deal for Karkat.

Just before Karkat could utter the word "moirails?" Vriska swooped in. Before Karkat could even bat an eye, Vriska had thrown Gamzee into a refrigerator. Karkat, of course, was pissed. His anger bubbled up and he screamed at the cobalt blooded troll. She merely flipped her hair as the shorter troll screeched at her. When he was done she simply stated that he was much too unstable to be allowed outside. But she did say he would be let out on the very rare occasion that she needed some sort of slave.

Karkat wasn't finished with this, anger was still very much present. His near moirail was stuck in a fucking fridge for god's sakes! What made it worse was that Gamzee was allowed out the first couple perigees but he had to have a literal ball and chain on his ankle and he had to do all that Vriska told him to. When Vriska felt that he was no longer of use, she shoved him back into the fridge and didn't let him out.

Karkat wasn't about to let Gamzee rot in that kitchen appliance. No, he _had_ to do something. Of course he could kick and scream all he wanted but he had to do something that would actually work. Karkat tried to slash the chains off the fridge but no luck. He tried to pick the lock yet that was futile. He tried _stealing the keys_ but Vriska kept them on her person at all times. So for now, his hands were tied.

The cancer troll would sneak out though, he still didn't want Gamzee to rot in there, and head over to the place where the fridge resided. Karkat would sit in front of the fridge and just talk. He would talk to Gamzee about any and everything. He would talk to Gamzee about the most recent movie he just watched or what his current quadrant related dilemma was. Sometimes, Karkat would sit there and just break down. He would sob his eyes out and just repeat _"I'm sorry."_ to the the fridge. He would sit there and sob and apologise and beg for any kind of forgiveness. The best he would get was a couple of honks from the fridge, but that was all he needed.

Karkar was alone. Not physically, he had Kanaya and Dave and the Mayor and Terezi and Rose and Vriska. But emotionally he felt alone. His near moirail wasn't there to ease him, he wasn't there to hold him or offer his shitty soda. Karkat felt alone. He couldn't really go to Kanaya or Dave for this, he loved them both to the moon and back but he felt uncomfortable talking about personal things to them. He didn't _want_ to feel uncomfortable but he just did. Karkat returned to the fridge everyday, sometimes twice a day. He never skipped a day and was never late.

One day, Karkat visited Gamzee's fridge for what might've been the final time. Karkat slowly made his way down the many steps to the bottom of the basement. This was probably it...probably the last time Karkat would ever get a chance to speak to Gamzee. If he did die, what would happen to Gamzee? Would they ever let him out? Would he eventually escape and just go batshit insane and kill everyone? The Knight of blood shook his head and stepped in front of the fridge.

He pressed his hand against the cool surface of the fridge and sighed. A happy string of honks emitted from the kitchen appliance making the cancer troll smile. He didn't want to leave Gamzee here but the final battle was approaching rapidly and Vriska was holding an emergency meeting and he was late as it is. Red tears began streaming down his face as he explained exactly the situation. When the mutant blooded troll was finished he slowly stepped away. He whispered one last apology and a final goodbye before he began walking away. A rapid string of distressed honks echoed from the fridge causing more tears to stream down the cancer troll's.

Karkat ran away from the fridge and up the stairs, he couldn't be near the fridge. Near Gamzee. It hurt him to hear the honks. It hurt him to know that if he died in the upcoming battle, Gamzee would A) get treated like dirt. B) get killed or left in the fridge to rot. or C) he would be let out and might go murder mode again. No, he can't think like that. This was Gamzee...he was a big troll...he could take care of himself.

Karkat willed himself to calm down, to return to his normal angry state. He had to go up to the roof of this shitty meteor. The Knight of blood made his way to a transportalizer. Before he stepped on, he wiped his tears and took in a couple deep breaths, calming down. The honks were still heard, but faintly. Karkat sniffled and stepped onto the transportalizer.

"I'm sorry, Gamzee." With that, the cancer troll transportalized, leaving the fridge and Gamzee's honks behind.


	5. Reunion at last

_'Karkat. Karkat. Karkat. Karkat.'_ This was all that was on the Capricorn's name the second he heard his friend's footsteps fade away. Karkat was going off to battle who knows what and Gamzee couldn't protect him. What if he fought the Condesce? She would use her stolen telekinesis and make Karkat belly flop his way off a cliff. And what about Jack? Jack was an old ally of Karkat, but Jack wouldn't care. He'd kill Karkat off without a second thought. And what about Lord English? Gamzee worked for that demon, he saw what he would do to those ghosts.

A low growl escaped from the throat of the Capricorn and a hiss was returned from the outside. Gamzee froze.

"What, did your shitty chuckle voooooooodoooooooos sense me coming?" An all too familiar voice sing-songed from the outside of the fridge. Gamzee stayed silent, not even daring to honk the horn in his mouth. "What's wrong, clown? Spider got your tongue?" She chuckled and suddenly the fridge was lifted up in the hair. Gamzee was pressed against the fridge door, the corpses sharing the kitchen appliance following in suit.

Gamzee didn't know what was going in but he prayed to the mirthful messiahs that he wasn't about to get thrown off this meteor. A good ten minutes later, his prayers were answered and the fridge was roughly set down on its back, throwing Gamzee down. The Capricorn lay on top the corpses in confusion, he didn't know _where_ he was or _why_ Vriska had so suddenly moved the fridge. What about Karkat? Did he know about this? Just then he heard a voice. A soft but stern elegant voice. A voice that threatened to kill him and came pretty close once.

"Might I ask _why_ the refrigerator containing that psychotic clown is up here with the rest of us? I thought that this was a meeting for our upcoming battle." Oh, so that's where he was. A meeting. But _why_ was _he_ here?

"This is a meeting and we're going to need this fridge for later purposes."

"Might I ask what sort of later purposes? Are we perhaps going to let him loose and let him tear our enemies apart? Was that the oh-so-clever battle plan of yours? Because I have no doubt in my mind that he will just turn and rip _us_ apart instead." Gamzee grimaced at the words. Was Kanaya really that upset? He hasn't done anything in a sweep! He's changed! Then again no one but Karkat knows that for sure...

"Hey, instead of standing around like idiots gawking at a fucking kitchen appliance we should get this shitty show on the road." Karkat. That was Karkat. Gamzee wiggled in delight and honked the horn lodged into his mouth.

"Hey look, it honked when Karkat talked. Dude must've imprinted on short and shouty." That was Dave. Gamzee remembered all the things Karkat had told him about Dave. All the insults and late night movie marathon cuddles and feelings jams. Now Gamzee knew what Karkat meant by the quadrant confusion.

"Fuck off Strider." Gamzee honked again upon hearing the voice of his friend. He wanted to worm his way out of this corpse infested contraption, but he was tied up and the fridge was sealed shut. There was no way out for Gamzee. He sighed through his nose and decided it best to wait this out. Hopefully they'd let him out to help, that's all he wanted. He wanted to prove he wasn't a murder happy clown with a spiked club with their name on it. So, the clown eased onto the bodies behind him and waited.

Gamzee listened to the entire meeting. He listened to Vriska gabble away about her plans and the teams. He heard Terezi and Vriska talk right outside his fridge, he heard Karkat argue with Vriska. He heard Tavros and Kanaya and Rose and some unfamiliar voices. He heard all this but not once did he hear them mention letting him out to help. That was it. Gamzee was done.

The groups departed and Gamzee was moved yet again. This time he was with Tavros and couple new voices. Then, Nepeta joined the party. Nepeta. Gamzee grimaced at the thought of her. He remembered how he had killed her. He remembered drawing in her blood. He remembered swinging that club of his against her skull so many times. No. No more thinking like that. Gamzee pushed those thoughts aside.

Vriska's voice rang outside, all staticky but understandable. The times were in place and she was heading out now. Rose, John, and Roxy just left along with Dave, Dirk and Terezi would follow. Karkat and Kanaya left but only Kanaya came back. Now she was off to gather her treasure and fight a bitch. Wait did she only Kanaya came back? Was that good? Bad? Gamzee didn't know. Everything was so confusing. Gamzee could only pray and hope that Karkat was fine.

The fridge shook and moved slightly then was left still again. The voices of the others on the outside faded away and finally disappeared. Gamzee was alone again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Well look who _finally_ joined the party." Gamzee's eyes fluttered open. He had fallen asleep waiting for someone, anyone. The fridge was pulled forward and Gamzee was pressed against the door. It tilted back and Gamzee stood in line with the corpses.

"Shut the hell up, Serket. I was getting someone." Karkat? Karkat was okay. Karkat was okay and that's all that mattered.

"I _STILL_ don't see why we need _him_."

"And you never will. It's confidential shit that I learned while I was knocked out in a fucking cave thanks to Kanaya. By the way, next time to don't knock me out near any damn lava. I was almost fried to death." Oh, that brought back painful memories.

"Yes, well, you weren't fried to death. So let us consider that another win." Gamzee couldn't see it but he knew Karkat was rolling his eyes. "Enough with this, we might as well get this metaphorical show on the metaphorical road. Vriska, hand Karkat the key."

"Alright, when I let him out we all have to go over some ground rules. Absolutely NO fucking weapons. We don't need that shit. And no Kanaya, I don't know if he will or won't attack but you know what, I'm willing to take my chances. Also don't treat him like a fucking retard or a psychopath. He isn't either of those things." The lock clicked and the chains fell. Gamzee's blood pusher was ejecting blood at double the speed. His mind was racing. What if this was a trick? No, Karkat wouldn't do that. Would he?

The door slowly opened and the Bard of Rage fell out into the arms of the Knight of Blood.

The first thing that Karkat noticed about Gamzee was the smell. God the smell was overwhelming. It smelled like rotting corpses and Karkat wasn't surprised that it was. But there was something else mixed in with that...it smelled like...feces and dried urine. Karkat wrinkled his nose in disgust.

He propped Gamzee up and pulled the bicycle horn from his mouth. Gamzee let out a happy honk, his voice much deeper than three years ago. Karkat let his now candy red eyes roam Gamzee, taking in the new appearance and noting any changes. His fangs were larger and sharper. His hair was longer and poofier but mostly tangled. The white make up managed to stay caked onto his face but it was starting to crack. His eyes were smaller, beady, but a vibrant purple. They mainly looked intimidating but with a hint of kindness. His horns were a bit bigger than before and he was taller. God, how had he fit in that small fridge?

"Come on Gam..." Karkat said, cutting the ropes off of Gamzee and letting his arms loose. The subjugglator raised his arms, his claws making shadows across Karkat's chest, and hugged his smaller friend tightly. Purple tears welled up and spilled onto his cheeks. Karkat tensed up but the tension soon faded away and was replaced with a returned hug and tears of his own. He had missed him. He missed Gamzee. He missed his giant clown best friend with all the hugs and smiles and honks and just about everything else. He missed being there for Gamzee. He missed Gamzee. And he wasn't about to let someone take him away again.

"Come on Gam, let's get you cleaned up."


	6. Epilogue

Karkat slept peacefully. He snored softly, his chest rising and falling. This made Gamzee smile. He shifted himself so he rested on his side and pushed the hair out of his moirail's face. The sleeping cancer troll wrinkled his nose and turned around, facing away from Gamzee most likely thinking it was just a pesky bug.

It's been a near sweep since the game ended and a lot has changed.

Gamzee and Karkat became moirails once more, this time it wouldn't end in a lava bath and Gamzee would make sure of that. Also, thanks to many hours of consulting with Gamzee and lots of pro-con lists, Karkat realised he was waxing red for Dave. Soon the two established their matespritship and have been happy ever since.

Everyone was uneasy around Gamzee. Who could blame them though? Gamzee changed, physically of course. Without the limitation of the fridge, he grew a foot in length. His horns also grew and curved even more. His hair was now even longer and a bigger tangled mess than before. The yellows around his eyes were now permanently red and the vibrant purple iris' made them more intimidating. His fangs were long and sharp and slightly stuck out of his mouth, his claws were long but Karkat did his best to keep them short. Gamzee's voice was deep and rumbly, every time he spoke he sounded angry. His frame lanky, yet he gave off the impression that if you rubbed him the wrong way he could and would rip your face off.

Karkat liked this.

Karkat liked how intimidating Gamzee was, how tall and scary he was to everyone else. He liked how in reality, Gamzee was a giant teddy bear and wouldn't want to even hurt a fly. He liked how when Gamzee smiled all his pearly shark like teeth showed and it would scare the others, but Karkat saw it as endearing. Karkat liked how Gamzee would purr and close his eyes when Karkat brush out his long mane of hair. He liked how involved Gamzee was, how helpful, how _committed_ to this moirallegiance he was.

Gamzee never forgot though. Gamzee never forgot about all those times when he ignored Karkat, about Terezi, how he killed Karkat. He still had nightmares. He would sometimes zone out and his thinkpan would wander back to those days. To the days when he wasn't in control. Sometimes he wondered if he would ever go back to that. If he would hurt Karkat like he had before. Was he destined to ruin Karkat's life? To ruin this pale relationship with the one troll who still trusted him? _Cared_ for him? _Loved_ him?

No. He couldn't think like that. Gamzee was happy now. Gamzee was fine. He was in control. He had Karkat. He would never go back to being that monster. Not now not ever.

The capricorn sighed happily as Karkat turned back around, mumbling something in his slumber. Gamzee smiled and pressed a little kiss to Karkat's warm forehead, some of his white makeup smearing on.

Gamzee was happy now.


End file.
